Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Why I didn't do my New Year's resolutions: my manifesto on being different

A Manifesto by Ty Hallock

I pride myself on being different.  Here is what my Christmas looks like:  I don't think we should buy a bunch of worthless stuff for one another and so I've often been the one without gifts.  I gave myself the gift of not stressing out, which means not always going all out or doing what is expected.  But when I do give gifts (which I do frequently just not consistently) they are hand-made and from the heart.  But boy am I ever pleased to receive gifts and I try to write all my thank-you's and I've never once done this without love in my heart.

So today I feel thankful and sing my appreciation.  I considered what I can do to change the world.  Not just token appreciation like when we use to go by the homeless shelter one day a year when I was kid, but instead I worked on the things I saw in my mom while she was alive like a life-long patience with love and impatience for peace.  I have a nagging heart because I know I have the potential to make a big impact.  I celebrate the 4 times a year I meet with Ed Brenegar and he advises me and helps me figure out change in my life.

On Culture & Tradition

The rich culture I've seen traveling the world, in my hometown of Cullowhee, NC and in my current home, Asheville, NC; is like magic to me.  My experiences have been rich and I will keep these in my heart.  I however would like to use these experiences to create my own traditions.  I won't keep anything that is not sacred to me and being a young man of 31 I will likely change my mind as I grow my family, maybe that first kid will change my mind or maybe he too will be different.  I hope so.

For now I trade my energy exerted to make others happy around their expectations and instead I love them.  Give them of myself and sacrifice for them, but I do it in my own way.

Go by the gym on January 1st if you want.  You won't see me there because I know it's going to be a mad-house, but those people in a line are inspired by the New Year's Resolutions.  And more power to them.  But I try to avoid lines and 4 years ago when I decided not to join the gym in January, but instead in February and to keep going day after day it was because of my will-power, not a holiday.  After all after the honeymoon is when the beautiful part of any healthy relationship starts.

What are your traditions?

So you now have a free pass not to give me a gift on my birthday, don't worry about giving me candy on easter or sending me a card when I'm sick.  You can send me letters, love or good intentions anytime and you can join me at a potluck or help me build community and build the traditions that I WILL celebrate.  Twenty years ago I started writing thank you's, love letters and fun notes to pen-pals.  If you want to get on this tradition send me something special via snail-mail and I promise to return the love in one way or another.  I'm not telling you all of my traditions because are too silly here, but I would love to hear about your quirky culture, traditions, or celebrations.  What do you got?


  1. I'd like to have more traditions than I do because I love tradition but the few that I do have are very precious to me.
    Here is my favorite one:
    Every Sunday my husband has off work and that is the one night a week we always have a more formal family dinner where we are all together and we always hold hands and sing "The Lords Been Good to Me." I love this song especially because we always sang it as our blessing before dinner at both my homes. My parents divorced when I was very young and my 2 house holds were very different but this One thing was always the same and miraculously my husband who also grew up in a split family did the exact same thing so that makes it Extra Special.

  2. We use to sing "The Lords Been Good to Me." also! I feel like your in a good spot Amber. To me Traditions are just as important and special when you create them as when they have been bestowed. It feels like the ones we create are part of our threaded heritage being handed down from our ancestors. We will work on this together :)

  3. Thank you, Ty, for your kind regards. I appreciate your willingness to continue to stretch yourself in growing beyond what others may expect. I wish you every success in 2014.

  4. I'd love to get in on that snail mail fun, and community building, and potlucks....Miss you and your family. Here's to a great year!

    1. Let's do it Stephanie! I still have your plant pods in paper. Also I got your message about potlucks! Would love to :)

  5. Maria and I did the same thing thing year. No presents, no last minute holiday shopping, and giving into the feeling of obligation. The result: an extremely peaceful and enjoyable holiday. Our big Christmas tradition is making tamales on Christmas eve day. We make so many we fill our freezer with them so we can enjoy them for months to come. We get our teenagers to help spread the maza, lay in the meat, roll and fold. They comply although somewhat grudgingly, but they don't mind eating them. We have them for dinner, for lunch, and then fry them for breakfast and top them with fried eggs and habanero salsa. This is heaven for us; not just the food, but the time with family.

    1. My partners family always had Waffles, but then when there was her 5 siblings, everyone's friends and other relatives they switched to Nachos. This seems like a perfect celebration... you can make your nachos together as a family and anything with Avocados, fresh veggies and melted cheese is usually good.